yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
