Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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