3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
