The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
