Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
