It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
