I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
