Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
