Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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