so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
