It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
