hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
