The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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