I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
