Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
