just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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