i think i have herpe
just one?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
