Pappa wants mamma naked
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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