Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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