so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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