i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
