Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
