Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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