goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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