i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
