thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
