It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
