Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
