I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
