i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
