Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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