dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize