I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
