She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
