Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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