woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
