He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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