She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so explain again why im purple
no
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That accounts for only three of the penises
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
