I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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