clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
