once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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