ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
