i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
