Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
