I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
