i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
