and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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