Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
