Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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