What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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